phillyphanatic's Friends

Some people think Mink Stole is just a garment. We pity these people.
Oh what misery is this? Today was the annual trip to Peddler's Village* to purchase a fancy ceramic coffee mug to give my mother for Christmas. Every Christmas I get her one, and every year it's broken by Easter.** I hate going to Peddler's Village but I love my mother so I go and get her a mug to break. I hate going to Peddler's Village because it makes me feel like I am being judged. It is filled with well dressed people- people who not only thought about what they are wearing but who own enough clothing to actually make an outfit choice informed by style and the proximity to labor day and maybe even thread count.*** They came to Peddler's Village to pay a lot for things they do not need. But they stay to silently judge me. No one among them is worse than the lady at the fancy ceramic mug store counter, a fierce amalgamation of a Stepford Wife and the hotel clerk that turns into a fish in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. She is the worst because all the others, though they together form one giant oppressive judging whole, only judge me a single time each. But the Stepford Fish is there year after year, judging me again and again and again. And I'm not fooling myself into self importance; I don't think the Stepford Fish cares one way or another if I buy a million mugs. And that is the worst part of the worst part: the Stepford Fish has judged me and she has handed down a verdict of cold indifference. Well the joke is on you Stepford fish. You have to gift wrap that mug for free. Again and again and again. Where am I going with this? It ought to be bed, but in researching the Fear and Loathing fish lady I accidentally discovered a full length online copy of a John Waters movie I've never seen. Iggy Pop plays Johnny Depp's grandfather. Willem Dafoe is in it, and Depp talks to a laughing rat. It's far out.

*By all rights it should be Peddlers' Village.
**She probably isn't doing it on purpose, though that occured to me. I think she may have an inner ear problem.
***I don't know what a "thread count" is, but i read about it in a fancy clothes catalog I found in the gutter, while i was there wallowing in it.

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